


Domestic Heroes

by binarose



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Everyone is a dork, Group Chat Fic, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Team Bonding, Tony Is A Dork, but really its phil, group chat au, it turned into that when i started writing again, steve is unofficial dad to everybody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-06 18:31:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8764300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binarose/pseuds/binarose
Summary: If you’d asked the Avengers, or Team Bus, a year ago how they could possibly end up with their current living arrangements, they would have laughed at you, called you crazy in a number of colourful languages and walked away.However, here they were, Team Bus being bus-less, living in Avengers Tower with the heroes, and it was so…domestic?





	1. Prologue

If you’d asked the Avengers, or Team Bus, a year ago how they could possibly end up with their current living arrangements, they would have laughed at you, called you crazy in a number of colourful languages and walked away.

"Coulson? I need you. We need you."

A pause, and a crackle of the line.

"Clint really getting under your skin then?" Coulson said

"You have no idea. I'm gonna beat him upside the head soon, so stop pretending to be dead, we're motivated, and all that hard work will go out the window if we commit a team murder." Tony laughed, "Pep misses you, and as much as I hate you for your taser humour, I miss you. I know Steve misses you, and Nat. But please, a Clint shaped hole will appear in one of my upper windows and I won't guarantee that I will catch him."

"For the sake of my archer, okay. Me and my team will be there soon."

*Click!*

"Wait, you and your what? Coulson? Agent? Philllllll???"


	2. Meddling AI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group chat is created. Tony has no chill. Pete needs bleach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally got around to writing chapters for this fic and suddenly it's a group chat fic? I'm a sucker for them, so let's see if I can write one.

**Friday created a group: Inhabitants of Stark Tower (current)**  
**Friday added Tony Stark-Rogers, Steve Stark-Rogers, Natasha Romanov +16 others**

Steve sent: Tony, why is Friday on Messnger?  
Steve sent: *Messenger  
Bucky sent: Stark wth  
Natasha sent: the old men know how to use phones, give them a prize  
Tony sent: I have no idea what happened here  
Tony sent: 19 people??? My tower doesn’t seem so big anymore  
Peter sent: dad, seriously? Everyone could have their own floor and there’d still be empty ones..  
Tony sent: no sass from you young man, and no more time with auntie pep  
Skye sent: ….this might be my fault  
Grant sent: do I want ti know how?  
Skye sent: typo robot.  
Skye sent: And I may have asked Friday completely innocently if it were possible to have a group chat to keep track of everyone  
Peter sent: and we come to the root of the problem. dad made jarvis and fri too sentient, she probs thinks she’s being helpful  
Grant sent: thanks for pointing it out skye -_-  
Skye sent: old style emojis? join up with the capsicle and robocop for a prize  
Tony sent: ^^^ she can stay  
Tony sent: oooo, what’s this

**Tony Stark-Rogers changed nickname to Captain Spangle’s Booty Call**

Steve sent: TONY!!! Pete is in this chat  
Natasha sent: Also you’re married, he ain’t a booty call anymore  
Coulson sent: Thank god those days are behind us.  
Captain Spangle’s Booty Call sent: my husband is a buzzkill  
Peter sent: MY EYES, SOMEONE GET ME BLEACH  
Bucky sent: share with me squirt and I’ll be up in 5 wiht it 

**Captain Spangle’s Booty Call changed nickname to Red, Gold & Awesome**

Red, Gold & Awesome sent: Better?  
Natasha sent: we just had a collective facepalm in the gym


	3. All Work & No Coffee Makes Superheroes Cranky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 19 coffee addicts in one tower. One very good coffee machine. One very annoying song. One culprit, but who?

**Group: Team Bus**

Papa Coulson sent: whoever *cough* skye *cough* set stark’s AI coffee machine to blare barney the dinosaur at him, well done, but 5 minutes of amusement is over. he’s not the only one who needs coffee in this tower  
Quakin’ in my boots sent: im offended AC, a) for once not me, ask the happy hacking twins upstairs, or petey-boy and b) I have mighty hacking skills but I can’t hack into his machines…yet. gotta sweet talk friday some more. and c) I need coffee too  
Annoyingly British sent: that yet worries me, anyone else?  
Trippin’ over myself: constant state of my life with her around man. i’m legit scared that one of the mighty hackers in this place is gonna take over my toilet  
Silent but deadly sent: I checked with Nat, she was also fighting with the machine, so not her. Which leaves Barnes, Stark himself, mini-Stark or the Robot.  
Quakin’ in my boots sent: glad the nickname is catching on  
Bro-bot sent: sigh  
Bro-bot sent: also not me  
Bro-bot sent: also also, who made me bro-bot? wtf  
Trippin’ over myself sent: guilty as charged bro  
Bro-bot sent: bro why  
Mack-attack sent: bro, I had to show him how  
Trippin’ over myself: broooo

**Group: Inhabitants of Stark Tower (current)**

Red, Gold & Awesome sent: so its not little miss move the earth, or her robot bed buddy…  
Grant sent: …  
Phil sent: huh, what?  
Natasha sent: keep up phil  
Bucky sent: nice pause for effect stark. back to the coffee situation  
Red, Gold & Awesome sent: its not nat who nearly beat the machine to a pulp, thanks may for stopping her short of grabbing my kitchen hammer  
Bruce sent: you have a hammer in the kitchen because…?  
Red, Gold & Awesome sent: reasons  
Steve sent: I told him he couldn’t have a wrench in a communal space. Compromise.  
Clint sent: rightttt.  
Vision sent: A Hammer Is Less Likely To Do Damage And Make Mess In The Kitchen. Mr Stark Can Only Take Things To Pieces With The Hammer And Has To Remove Them To The Workshop For Repairs.  
Clint sent: again, rightttt.  
Clint sent: coffee?  
Red, Gold & Awesome sent: yes, okay, it’s not buckaroo either, and I wouldn’t hinder my own coffee drinking  
Bruce sent: reminds me, you have a physical coming up  
Red, Gold & Awesome sent: tell jarvis not me  
Red, Gold & Awesome sent: or tell pep  
Red, Gold & Awesome sent: or steve, or rhodey, or happy  
Clint sent: coffeeeeeeeee

**Natasha set Clint’s nickname to Espresso Addict**

Espresso Addict sent: Nice Tash, like you didn’t nearly go psycho on the poor machine forced to play that annoying song

**Espresso Addict set Natasha’s nickname to Not Friendly In The Morning**

Bucky sent: she was very friendly before the machine incident ;)  
Steve sent: *facepalm*  
Red, Gold & Awesome sent: ….  
Skye sent: I love living here.

 

**Group: Peter Defence Squad**

Auntie Nat sent: Peter. I may have started this group to save you from your fathers, and allow your hijinks to go on, but coffee man. I will no longer help with every plan that comes to that devious little mind and I will have no shame ratting you out.  
Uncle Rhodey sent: Harsh. I guess I missed something in the Tower this morning. Run boy, run.  
Auntie Nat sent: I don’t mess around with coffee.

**Group: Inhabitants of Stark Tower (Current)**

**Peter set nickname to Destroyer of Worlds (and coffee)**

Red, Gold & Awesome sent: see now I cant even be mad about it.  
Destroyer of Worlds (and coffee) sent: …  
Destroyer of Worlds (and coffee) sent: so im good?  
Steve sent: Ha. No.  
Bucky sent: Busted, kid  
Red, Gold & Awesome sent: lab now mini-me, and bring the torture device. Then I get first pick of the fresh coffee pot  
Steve sent: well there goes any chance of coffee for anyone else at any point in the next couple of days. Whose turn is it for a Starbucks run?  
Red, Gold & Awesome sent: my husband, the comedian  
Red, Gold & Awesome sent: and a coffee heathen


End file.
